so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
