last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize