My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
