can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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