why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
