so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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