I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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