you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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