Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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