So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
