no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
