I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
