Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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