my vag is so smooth its legendary
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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