He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
