if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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