Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
