You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
