Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
