then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
