I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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