Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have post one night stand depression
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
