two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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