Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
