THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
