I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
