Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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