found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
