I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
