so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
