would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
