I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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