i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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