Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this boner is exhausting
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
