I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
