Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I deserve this hangover.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
