Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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