I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
try to milk me bitch
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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