Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
high people should be assigned attendants
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
