i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize