I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize