The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
