Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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