In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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