What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
