And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
