I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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