Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
