Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
