Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
