I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
