Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
