If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
