come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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