Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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