is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
do nipples grow back?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
