Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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