If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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